32 reasons why mud sucks

David Cook — 25 June 2014

Mud is simply awful. There is nothing fun about dealing with it, wading around in it, driving through it, cleaning up after it — except for watching others deal with, wade around, drive through and clean up after it. You never get rid of it: it’s there under and in your car for life; it clogs up radiators, fan belts, alternators and everything else that it gets into. It’s messy, unpleasant and icky. And here’s why.

1. Laugh if you want to, but inside he’s crying for help, relief and for someone not to take his photo.

2. Getting stuck in a rut is never good, and when you’re nose down in the clag with nobody to haul you out backwards you’re as on your own as if you were on the moon.

3. There’s somebody down there and he’s probably looking for his winch point.

4. Note the driver looking out the door wondering why his car isn’t going forward. Note also that those who voluntarily drive in mud are dopes.

5. There are many people who drive into mud and dig deep ruts that can leave them stranded even when the mud has dried hard. It serves them right.

6. The use of headlights in mud is much debated. In really deep mud it can make it easier to find your car the next day; in shallower mud it serves to attract those who will come and laugh at you.

7. Here’s another version of the “why aren’t we moving forward” school of stupidity. Her white jumper and nice beige upholstery would be being spattered with sticky brown mud right now. Huh! We have no sympathy.

8. Here we see a boofhead who has taken the let’s-drive-through-the-mud approach and avoided the drier route around it. Like all such pools it was much deeper than expected. It’s a standard mud pool option.

9. Of course, you can also follow the approach of if-a-hole-is-big-enough-we-can-always-get-more-than-one-car-in-there. Too many was when the first one drove in.

10. Dive! Dive! Forward torpedo tubes at the ready! If you ask us it’s more a case of prepare for depth charges.

11. Multiple stuck 4WDs is a sign of the lemming complex where they all desire to jump off the metaphoric cliff. They must be breeding too rapidly.

12. Once again we have firm dry ground available but some find it irresistible to plunge into the muck. They ought to be left there.

13. Oh look, there’s more mud inside than there is outside. National parks would be a bit miffed by you removing so much of the topsoil.

14. Another example of a submarine 4WD. Doesn’t anyone check the depth of muddy pools?

15. Windscreen washers busted? Might have some mud in it. Either that or it’s the worst hammertone paint job we’ve ever seen.

16. Going down for the third time. It’s remarkable how many of these vehicles have managed to put two of their wheels into a very deep pit of slime and slop and have completely missed the firm ground. Is there a thread developing here?

17. Have to be really careful with vehicles like Jeeps or early Land Rovers without doors because the muck might be deeper than the sills. Especially when you drive straight into the swamp.

18. Well, that was a bit mucky, wasn’t it? At least her teeth are still white. Maybe she should have wound the window up.

19. We see this vehicle is for sale. As a boat it won’t work because it looks like it is about to sink, and as a car it's pretty much had it.

20. Threw in a line and caught a Toyota! Not bad.

21. Is she sneaking away because she’s too embarrassed to be seen with a muddy car? Or is she trying to steal the roof rack?

22. Now there are two of them down there.

23. Now there are people trying to steal the transmission. Or maybe they’ve been placed there to try to get some traction.

24. Oh, those poor girls.

25. Either he’s just fallen out the back and is about to be run over by the vehicle on the right or he is part of the problem in DRIVING INTO MUD!

26. Is this Suzuki digging a new nest?

27. Our local shopping centre is a bit like this, but it would appear to be the deepest mud hole in this collection of idiocy.

28. We can see his problem: his windscreen wipers need more water to clear his vision. If he’d had some vision, or foresight, he would never have driven into the mud. 

29. And if you want another reason why mud is unpleasant consider how much muck this poor individual has in his pockets, and elsewhere. Just keep going, son, you’re doing better than most of the 4WDs here.

30. Mud is not a new invention, it’s played its part in historic times. Our grandparents dealt with it by tearing the back axle out from under their carts; maybe we should consider it as an option today. Reducing our 4WDs to two wheel drive might encourage a few of the owners to STAY OUT OF THE MUD!

31. It’s amazing what you can find in mud. We don’t know whether this person is going down or coming up, but they are a definite obstacle to 4WDing.

32. Whatever she's doing, we don't think it's going to help.


Adventure Mud Camper Trailer Equipment 4X4 Vehicle Safety 2014